Billy Whack on WWE booking towards WrestleMania (March 2005)
Mar 29, 2023 11:34:42 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by CW .org .info .net on Mar 29, 2023 11:34:42 GMT -6
Whack:
Anybody who has been within earshot of me the past couple of weeks has already heard my theory, but for the rest of y'all: here goes...
The WWE is doing a fine job of building to WrestleMania. In fact, this has been one of the better "Roads to WrestleMania" in years. With the surprise return of Roberts, the Rockers, Superstar Billy Graham, and the promise of all the old school guys actually BEING at Mania, along with a PIPER'S PIT with AUSTIN as the guest? C'mon. It's a no-brainer that I'm getting the PPV.
Let's not forget that most of the matches are pretty intriguing as well. And, who knows? The "predictable" Cena going over JBL might NOT happen, and the same goes for Batista. It would be nice, and a good start for the WWE "reset" that they usually do after WrestleMania, but "anything can happen." Hell, Hogan could run in and challenge JBL and beat him in 9 seconds, or the hottest thing coming out of Mania could have been the legit shoving match that Orndorff and Sheik get into...Who knows?
Regardless, all of this past present and future star power is going to be in one building at the same time.
Now, to my actual point.
If the WWE wanted to really make us give a shit about the "interpromotional" crap between RAW and SMACKDOWN they should do a little more than just have different colored logos, and different commentators.
Oh, right...Different rosters, too. Forgot about that. But it's easy to simply NOT CARE about the SMACKDOWN roster because even the WWE has admitted to it being the "B card". Whatever. What I'm saying they should really break it down to is The General Managers.
1.) Eric Bischoff.
The only reason why he has a job is because it's something for Vince McMahon to laugh about as he falls asleep at night, in lieu of satisfying Linda. The man tried to run Vince out of business and is repaid by getting a weekly spot on TV as the "General Manager of Monday Night Raw." Seriously, isn't that what Eric actually wanted out of the Monday Night Wars? He wins! Vince actually LOSES by having that guy on the payroll. fuck, man. Get some actor out of Hollywood to play the role. I would never hire some guy who fucked me like that. And the thing is Bischoff actually says in various interviews that if given the chance, he would do it again!
Anyway, "storyline" or not, Bischoff should go.
2.) Teddy Long.
Okay. There was a span of time when GMs had a lifespan of about 3 months or so. Steph was in there, Heyman was in there, Shane...Foley? Christ I think at one point, Undertaker was the General Manager. Whoever. (Remember you shouldn't really care because SMACKDOWN is the B card) And then along comes Teddy Long.
See, the problem is Teddy Long hasn't gone anywhere, and he seems to have been around forever...Not doing much of anything. Hey, I bet he's a fun guy and all, but who cares? As far as storylines go, and storyTELLING goes, I don't care about Teddy Long. He just stands there and barks out ethnic slang that even he looks uncomfortable saying. Enough. Once again, I'm sure he's a nice guy, but not compelling TV. Not top-notch ENTERTAINMENT.
But the programs can't be General Manager-less?
And this is where you can FIX WWE.
Simply take "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and put him on as the General Manager of SMACKDOWN and put Hogan as the GM of RAW.
You set it all up at WrestleMania. Maybe even use Piper's Pit. Anyway, Austin and Hogan both boast about being the greatest superstars of their time, or the biggest draws or something, and it leads into each of them running the different companies.
The "competition" between the two is "legit" and it becomes must-see TV. Imagine Hogan making matches on RAW, and guys trying to get in his face. Hogan just cocks back a meaty fist and sends 'em running. Basically a GM that could be a legitimate boss who doesn't take any shit. Plus, it's Hogan. Put him to work on something that doesn't involve actually wrestling. That's all he was really good for anyway, right? Yelling into a microphone and riling people up? Brother?
Austin would be great on SMACKDOWN. It would be just what the show needs for a ratings boost. Imagine Austin as GM, and John Cena as your champ. That'd make a pretty watchable show. Anything Austin touches turns to gold, so why not put him on there?
I could ramble on for hours about this, but I won't.
My back is all jacked up, and something called "Skelaxin" helped me remain pain-free AND was a contributing editor to this post.
Anybody who has been within earshot of me the past couple of weeks has already heard my theory, but for the rest of y'all: here goes...
The WWE is doing a fine job of building to WrestleMania. In fact, this has been one of the better "Roads to WrestleMania" in years. With the surprise return of Roberts, the Rockers, Superstar Billy Graham, and the promise of all the old school guys actually BEING at Mania, along with a PIPER'S PIT with AUSTIN as the guest? C'mon. It's a no-brainer that I'm getting the PPV.
Let's not forget that most of the matches are pretty intriguing as well. And, who knows? The "predictable" Cena going over JBL might NOT happen, and the same goes for Batista. It would be nice, and a good start for the WWE "reset" that they usually do after WrestleMania, but "anything can happen." Hell, Hogan could run in and challenge JBL and beat him in 9 seconds, or the hottest thing coming out of Mania could have been the legit shoving match that Orndorff and Sheik get into...Who knows?
Regardless, all of this past present and future star power is going to be in one building at the same time.
Now, to my actual point.
If the WWE wanted to really make us give a shit about the "interpromotional" crap between RAW and SMACKDOWN they should do a little more than just have different colored logos, and different commentators.
Oh, right...Different rosters, too. Forgot about that. But it's easy to simply NOT CARE about the SMACKDOWN roster because even the WWE has admitted to it being the "B card". Whatever. What I'm saying they should really break it down to is The General Managers.
1.) Eric Bischoff.
The only reason why he has a job is because it's something for Vince McMahon to laugh about as he falls asleep at night, in lieu of satisfying Linda. The man tried to run Vince out of business and is repaid by getting a weekly spot on TV as the "General Manager of Monday Night Raw." Seriously, isn't that what Eric actually wanted out of the Monday Night Wars? He wins! Vince actually LOSES by having that guy on the payroll. fuck, man. Get some actor out of Hollywood to play the role. I would never hire some guy who fucked me like that. And the thing is Bischoff actually says in various interviews that if given the chance, he would do it again!
Anyway, "storyline" or not, Bischoff should go.
2.) Teddy Long.
Okay. There was a span of time when GMs had a lifespan of about 3 months or so. Steph was in there, Heyman was in there, Shane...Foley? Christ I think at one point, Undertaker was the General Manager. Whoever. (Remember you shouldn't really care because SMACKDOWN is the B card) And then along comes Teddy Long.
See, the problem is Teddy Long hasn't gone anywhere, and he seems to have been around forever...Not doing much of anything. Hey, I bet he's a fun guy and all, but who cares? As far as storylines go, and storyTELLING goes, I don't care about Teddy Long. He just stands there and barks out ethnic slang that even he looks uncomfortable saying. Enough. Once again, I'm sure he's a nice guy, but not compelling TV. Not top-notch ENTERTAINMENT.
But the programs can't be General Manager-less?
And this is where you can FIX WWE.
Simply take "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and put him on as the General Manager of SMACKDOWN and put Hogan as the GM of RAW.
You set it all up at WrestleMania. Maybe even use Piper's Pit. Anyway, Austin and Hogan both boast about being the greatest superstars of their time, or the biggest draws or something, and it leads into each of them running the different companies.
The "competition" between the two is "legit" and it becomes must-see TV. Imagine Hogan making matches on RAW, and guys trying to get in his face. Hogan just cocks back a meaty fist and sends 'em running. Basically a GM that could be a legitimate boss who doesn't take any shit. Plus, it's Hogan. Put him to work on something that doesn't involve actually wrestling. That's all he was really good for anyway, right? Yelling into a microphone and riling people up? Brother?
Austin would be great on SMACKDOWN. It would be just what the show needs for a ratings boost. Imagine Austin as GM, and John Cena as your champ. That'd make a pretty watchable show. Anything Austin touches turns to gold, so why not put him on there?
I could ramble on for hours about this, but I won't.
My back is all jacked up, and something called "Skelaxin" helped me remain pain-free AND was a contributing editor to this post.